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What the hell Joe?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  RandoomDude (Aldwin) 1 year, 8 months ago.

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    What the hell Joe?

    This is what I ask myself every time I hear Joe say “I don’t read the tutorials.” FF Tactics is the most recent example, but he’s also said this numerous other times. His excuse? “Games should be able to be played without tutorials” (said in some sort of 80 yr. old man voice no doubt). He sounds like someone whose only played Mario. I think it’s high time to call him out on this.

    Let’s examine how this line of reasoning plays out in other areas of life. Take sex for example. Imagine entering into a sexual encounter with no prior knowledge of sexual mechanics. You’re excited. She’s excited. But when the time comes to enjoy the act you’re stuck there looking at her vagina like it’s an alien. What do I do now? Undoubtedly you’ll miss and receive a “Wrong hole!” exclamation, completely ruining the experience.

    Cooking is another good example. Let’s say you decide to make a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs. Unfortunately you’ve never seen a “tutorial” on how to do this. You attempt to make scrambled eggs by throwing the eggs, un-cracked, into the pan on high heat. Eventually the eggs break open and you stir your burnt eggs together with the shell. As you bite into your eggs you realize your mistake as you begin to bleed from your mouth profusely due to cuts from the egg shell.

    Hopefully these examples illustrate my main point: Tutorials are meant to help the player understand the game so they can bypass early frustration on their way to immediate joy. Your Tactics play through would have been much more enjoyable if you just took a few minutes to learn, avoiding hours of heartache in the future.

    In sum, I simply ask “What the hell, Joe?”

    Except for FF8, those tutorials suck. I totally skipped those


    Cory Bonsack

    There is a tutorial for sex? That would have saved me from some awkward embarrassing moments.

    I am with Joe on this. The best games have tutorials hidden in the gameplay. A heavily worded tutorial in the very beginning of the game is the worse way to learn to play the game. I can never retain all of it.



    Check out Egoraptor’s Video “Sequelitis, Mega Man vs Mega Man X”. He does a wonderful job of showing how Mega Man X teaches you the game without pausing the game and bringing tutorials up. I agree with Joe on this one.



    Fair enough. I wrote the post the way I did primarily for humor, but I still think the logic is flawed.

    Mega man, Mario, and other platformers are inarguabley less complex than a game like FF Tactics. Joe complained for weeks that he was struggling with the game. I have no doubt that he would have saved hours of gameplay and frustration if he simply looked at some of the tutorials.

    I also want to remind people of what happened to Joe and Kaleb in FF9. Because they didn’t look at any of the tutorials, they had no idea how to find the explanation of abilities. They were trying to discern their meaning from the name instead of simply pressing “Select” when hovering over the ability.

    Could FF Tactics introduce the game aspects better? Perhaps, but they at least gave you the ability to equip yourself. Games like FF1 and others dropped you in the world with no direction. If FF Tactics did the same then I think there is a complaint to be had. Otherwise, quit being stupid and look at the tutorials for a minute.


    The problem is that he’s not autistic enough

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